Roy Graff

Relationship Coach & Counsellor

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Welcome to Open Relating

Open Relating means creating and maintaining conscious, connected, autonomous, expansive relationships, regardless of how many people are involved and what consensual agreements are made. Doing so requires an honest unflinching look at our own vulnerabilities, fears, needs, wants and desires.

My name is Roy, I'm a relationship coach and counsellor, and offer support and guidance to individuals and partnered people both online and in-person. I use a variety of methodologies from my training along with extensive lived experience as a multilingual and multicultural global citizen.

I offer coaching and counselling following the Psychosynthesis modality, and am accredited by NCPS. My support to you is based on lived experience, a great deal of self-experimentation, exploration, a range of educational courses and 7+ years of running workshops and facilitating groups. I have additional training in Radical Honesty, Non-violent Communication and Wheel of Consent.

To get started, use the navigation bar above to book a session with me, join the monthly peer support or watch one of my pre-recorded workshops.

The resources section has a wealth of free content for education and insights, including an exhaustive glossary, free podcasts and videos and an archive of articles about relationships.

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Coaching

Relationship success varies, depending on who you are, what beliefs you have and how much autonomy you need. The relationship escalator may work for some, but for many, it doesn't. I am interested in you, and what is the best outcome for you. My coaching is for individuals and partnered people.

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Counselling

I am a qualified and accredited counsellor, trained with the Institute of Psychosynthesis. Counselling is helpful for working with persistent issues of self-esteem, insecurity, depression or motivation. If you are struggling emotionally, and are looking for an open minded, understanding and trauma-informed counsellor, I'm here for you.

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Workshops and Talks

You can join the next workshop or watch pre-recorded talks about relationship dynamics, jealousy, compersion and related topics.
More videos are added on a regular basis.
Some are available for a small price, while many are free.
I offer monthly online group peer support for a low fee.

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Latest articles

Healing from trauma – an analogy

Sometimes, a suitable analogy helps imagine something better than any direct explanation. If you can imagine it, it is also possible to get there. Picture yourself on a ship floating in the ocean. It is dark and you don’t know where you are. It’s the middle of the night. Suddenly a large powerful wave hits …

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Is Hierarchy good or bad?

Inter-relationship power dynamics in multigamy

Is hierarchy good or bad? This question was inspired by one of my partners who saw an Instagram post portraying hierarchy in polyamory as something that is always inherently unethical, and rooted in colonialism. ​The account in question​ (@decolonizing.love) is dedicated to giving voice to marginalised communities within polyamory and in a broader sense, and …

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